...BITCHES

Sunday, August 2, 2009

quiz.
Dear (last person you smsed),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5).I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.You should also know that I (10) (11).
(12), Your name.

1. What's the colour of your shirt?
[ ]Blue - Our romance is over
[ ]Red - Our affair is over
[ ]White - I'll join the monastery
[ ]Black - I dislike you
[ ]Brown - The mafia wants you
[X]Green - Our horoscopes don't match
[ ]Grey - You're a pervert
[ ]Yellow - I'm selling myself
[ ]Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
[ ]No shirt - You're a loser
[ ]Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
[ ]January - That night
[ ]February - Last year
[ ]March - When your dwarf bit me
[ ]April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
[ ]May - First of May
[ ]June - When you put cuffs on me
[ ]July - When I threw up
[ ]August - When I saw the shrunken head
[ ]September - When we skinny dipped
[ ]October - When I quoted Santa
[X]November - When your dog ran amok
[ ]December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
[ ]Tacos - In your apartment
[ ]Pizza - In your camping car
[ ]Hamburgers - Under the bus
[ ]Salad - As you ate enchilada
[ ]Pasta - Outside of Chicago
[ ]Chicken - In your closet
[ ]Kebab - With Paris Hilton
[ ]Fish - In women's clothing
[ ]Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
[ ]Lasagna - At the mental hospital
[ ]Hot dog - Under a state of trance
[X]None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the colour of your socks?
[ ]Yellow - Hit on
[ ]Red - Insult
[ ]Black - Ignore
[ ]Blue - Knock out
[ ]Purple - Pour syrup on
[ ]White - Carve your initials into
[ ]Grey - Pull the clothes off
[ ]Brown - Put leeches on
[ ]Orange - Castrate
[X]Barefoot - Sit on
[ ]Pink - Pull the toupee off
[ ]Other - Drive out

5. What's the colour of your underwear shorts?
[ ]Black - My best friend
[X]White - My father
[ ]Grey - Bill Clinton
[ ]Brown - My fart balloon
[ ]Red - Donald Duck
[ ]Blue - My avocado plant
[ ]Yellow - My penpal in Iraq
[ ]Purple - My mustard souffle
[ ]Orange - My Kid Rock collection
[ ]Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
[ ]None - My John F. Kennedy statue
[ ]Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
[ ]Scrubs - Man
[ ]O.C. - Emotional
[ ]One Tree Hill - Open
[ ]Heroes - Frostbitten
[ ]House - Scarred
[ ]Lost - High
[X]Simpsons - Cowardly
[ ]The news - Mongolic
[ ]Idol - Masochistic
[ ]Family Guy - Senile
[ ]Top Model - Middle class

7. Your mood right now?
[ ]Happy - How awful I've felt
[X]Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
[ ]Sad - How boring you are
[ ]Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
[ ]Depressed - That we're cousins
[ ]Excited - That there is no solution to this
[ ]Nervous - The middle east
[ ]Worried - That your Honda sucks
[ ]Apathetic - That I did a sex change
[ ]Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
[ ]Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
[ ]Overjoyous - That I'm open
[ ]Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
[ ]None of the above - Ashamed

8. What's the colour of your bedroom walls?
[X]White - Your ring
[ ]Yellow - Your love letters
[ ]Red - Your Darth Vader poster
[ ]Black - Your tame stone
[ ]Blue - The couch cushions
[ ]Orange - Your false teeth
[ ]Brown - Your contact book
[ ]Green - The pictures from LA
[ ]Grey - Our matching Snoopy bibs
[ ]Purple - Your old lottery coupons
[ ]Pink - The cut toenails
[x]Others - The memories in the military service

9. What is the first letter of your first name?
[ ]A/B - Your photo
[ ]C/D - The oil stocks
[ ]E/F - Your neighbour Martin
[ ]G/H - your virginity
[ ]I/J - Results of your blood sample
[X]K/L - Your left ear
[ ]M/N - Your suicide note
[ ]O/P - My common sense
[ ]Q/R - Your mom
[ ]S/T - Your collection of butterflies
[ ]U/V - Your criminal record
[ ]W/X - David's tricot outfits
[ ]Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. What is the last letter of your last name?
[ ]A/B - Always will remember
[ ]C/D - Never will forget
[ ]E/F - Always wanted to break
[X]G/H - Never openly mocked
[ ]I/J - Always have felt dirty before
[ ]K/L - Will tell the authorities about
[ ]M/N - Told in my confession today about
[ ]O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
[ ]Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
[ ]S/T - Get sick when I think of
[ ]U/V - Always will try to forget
[ ]W/X - Am better off without
[ ]Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
[ ]Water - Our friendship
[ ]Beer - Senility
[X]Soft drink - A new life as a clone
[ ]Soda - The incarnation of an eskimo
[ ]Milk - The apartment building
[ ]Wine - Cocaine abuse
[ ]Cider - A passionate interest for mice
[ ]Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
[ ]Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
[ ]Hot chocolate - Eggplant fetishism
[ ]Whisky - To ruin the second World War
[ ]Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you want to go on a vacation?
[ ]Thailand - Warm regards
[ ]USA - Best regards
[ ]England - Good luck on your short term leave from jail
[ ]Spain - Go and drown yourself
[ ]China - Disgusting regards
[ ]Germany - With ease
[X]Japan - Go burn
[ ]Greece - Your everlasting enemy
[ ]Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
[ ]Egypt - Fuck off
[ ]France - In pain

quiz.
Dear (weixin),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (our horoscopes don't match). I think I realized it (when your dog ran amok, "shiro's lil doggie") (with george bush and his wife) and I saw you (sit on) (my father XD).I'm sure you're (cowardly) enough to understand (santa doesn't exist.). I'm returning (your ring) to you, but I'll keep (your left ear) as a memory.You should also know that I (never openly mocked) (a new life as a clone. "thats pretty cool.").
(go burn), Your name.

hikarusan left a note @
8:37:00 PM

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Sunday, August 2, 2009